Things that should NOT go Bump in the Night

1) Harry sleepily tumbling down his little doggie stairs from our bed at any hour of the night because he has to go to the bathroom due to refusing to eat his dinner until 10:00 PM.

2) Harry launching his body off our bed at top speed because Max our cat somehow taunted Harry into chasing him knowing that he can place all the noise blame on Harry.

3) Me trying to find the bathroom door and then the light in complete darkness for the 2nd, 3rd...4th time because a little baby is currently using my bladder as a pillow.

4) Emma (our cat, not to be confused with Ella our daughter) deciding it would be funny to stand up on her hind legs and throw her front legs onto our closet door causing the most horrific noise in the world (well at least the most horrific noise at 3:00 AM).

5) Ella waking up 3, 4, 5,...32,412 times a night now that she is in her new room. First we get a warning by hearing her stumbling around in the darkness trying to find her bedroom door (which sometimes triggers one of her toys to go off loudly, which in turn can be more obnoxious than an alarm clock depending on the time of night), then the subsequent opening and closing loudly of said door, then "MOM...I wake up" in a proud tone, only to be told by us "No, it's still nighttime" and then her breaking into the loudest tantrum you can imagine.

6) Paul trying to find his alarm clock for the 3rd time in a row...because we are all fans of hitting that snooze button at least 7 times.

7) Max galloping around downstairs thinking he is in the Kentucky Derby because that's what cats like to pretend to do in the middle of the night after their long restful sleep during the day.

8) Max then meowing between the hours of 5:00 AM until we decide to wake up because he has taken the liberty of assigning himself the Rooster's job until we decide to really get a rooster for that job.

9) Me pounding on the keyboard at 4:00 AM because one, or all, noises listed above have woken me up.

These are all noises we hear during the night, sometimes all within the same night causing me to wake up and stay awake for several hours sitting in bed waiting...waiting...waiting until I can finally fall asleep again. Yes, I know I don't have a real 9-5 job, but I do have a job that lasts at least 12 hours (sometimes more) a day called Mom, and it would be nice to not have to be walking around like a zombie because I couldn't sleep. Maybe in some weird cosmical way I am somehow getting trained to get used to the fact that I will not be getting a full night's rest in the upcoming months.